One Year

 I’ve been in Samoa for over a year! What?! Last weekend, most of the other volunteers in group 86 met up in the capital, Apia, to mark our one year anniversary and celebrate a couple birthdays. It was so nice to catch up, and see that the other volunteers seem to be doing pretty well for the most part. The next day, group 87’s plane landed and we welcomed them with an ava ceremony (ceremony Samoans typically perform to welcome guests). I don’t know if it was hitting the one year anniversary, or reliving the ava ceremony from the other side of the fale, but I’ve been remembering what it was like to arrive, and reflecting a lot on how far I’ve come.

Apia

I considered writing a list of all the things I’ve learned or things I want to accomplish in my next year, but who has time for that? I’ll just say this: When I watched the new group, the number one thing I thought about was how thankful I am that I’m not there anymore! That time was confusing and more difficult than I ever would have admitted in the moment. I had never left the country, let alone lived abroad, and it was hard, but now… I’ve generally got things figured out. I’ve lived in Samoa for a year, and I’ve actually created a life here. I’m happy a lot of the time, and I have people I care about and people who care about me in my community. My point is, I really like where I am at right now.

And all of a sudden, things have picked up, and time is going a lot faster.

This week is White Sunday, which is a major holiday in Samoa. In each church, children perform songs and dances and plays, and lead the prayers or take turns delivering parts of the sermon. Because I live in a tourists village, we will most likely have English speaking guests, so children  have to give speeches in both English and Samoan.

Because I’m a Sunday school teacher, I’ve been attending the nightly rehearsals (at least 3 hours every night for over two weeks) to teach English songs and help students with their English speeches. Most volunteers are asked to join the children in their performances, but luckily my village sees me as one of the teachers and not one of the children. Sometimes, volunteers get tired of being pressured into singing and dancing in front of groups too often (we aren’t circus monkeys), so I’m happy to spend my afternoons at the church hall, sitting and chatting with the other Sunday school teachers. It’s been quite the time commitment, but I’ve earned major brownie points from the people in my village, and gotten to know some of the younger kids better. It’s worth it.

The children practicing their welcome speech

After White Sunday, I’ll spend the next two weeks preparing my year 4 and 6 students for their national exams, and I’ll have after school tutoring session for the year 8 students for their English Exam. We will spend the last week of October administering the exams.

In November, I’ll spend two weeks helping group 87 with their teacher training, and we have GLOW coming up. Then I will finish the early literacy assessments for my students, and then it’s Prize Giving (graduation). The school year will be over? That soon? Because as soon as school is over, I’m headed back to Denver to spend Christmas with my family!

So to sum this post up, I’ve been here a year, and I feel really good about it.

O lo'u aiga samoa- My Samoan Family

Hey everyone! I’m sorry I’ve been slacking on the blog. Yes, I recognize the pattern. Sorry.

Life has been pretty simple, and here is a quick summary of the past few weeks.

Church. School. Assessments. GLOW (Girls Leading Our World). Flu. Lice. Food Poisoning. Term break. VRF (Volunteer Report Form). Taro and breadfruit. Screaming children. Naked children. Happy children. Peace Corps friends. Samoan Family.

Yeah, Lelei mea uma (everything is good). Overall, I’m pretty adjusted to my life here most the time. I occasionally go through phases of pretty severe homesickness, especially since there have been a few deaths back home. But the best cure for missing my family has been spending time with my Samoan family. I truly feel grateful to how inviting and open this family has been to me.

Every volunteer in Samoa is assigned a host family. Some volunteers live in the home with a family (like we did for training), while others live in a small home near a family. I was given a house in the most active part of the village. I’m near the churches and the shops, and a very short walk to school or the resorts. I’m surrounded by families on all sides, very nearby.

Unfortunately, my assigned host family lives further inland. I’ve never managed to walk the full 20 minutes it would take to get to their home without being stopped to visit with other families first (Samoans are typically very hospitable and very happy to receive visitors), which makes it difficult to visit them. Another issue with my assigned family is that my host mother is my principal. This just didn’t work out. I believe that my principal wants to maintain a professional relationship. She is a very busy woman who runs a school and has four children of her own. She doesn’t need a twenty something white daughter who couldn’t speak the language or still had to be taught a lot about Samoan culture. It wasn’t an ideal set up.

I spent my first six months in the village a little disappointed by my lack of having a Samoan family, and envied volunteers who had been truly embraced by a family. I made friends with my neighbor, Ana. She is the English and accounting teacher at the local high school, and her fluent English skills made her my go to person any time I needed help with language or needed someone to explain cultural misunderstandings. Her family gave me an open invitation to eat to’ona’i (large meal served after church) every Sunday. They invited me to attend village events with them, and I visited once or twice a week. But mostly, my language skills suffered, and I spent most evenings alone in my house.

In May, I found out that my grandfather passed away. I went to Ana to tell her that I didn’t want to do whatever we had planned to do that day. She said ok, and I settled in for what I thought would be a long night alone. To my surprise, a few hours later, one of Ana’s children knocked on my door and started peeking through windows. “Peta, my grandmother say come… for eat.” I tried to decline the invitation, but the child wouldn’t accept it, repeating the line she was given to tell me in English. “My grandmother say come for eat?” I decided that maybe it would be better to not be alone anyway, and I went.

They sat me at the table with Mama. Mama is a very friendly woman in her mid 60s who speaks more English than I initially thought. Someone told me her name when I first arrived, but everyone calls her Mama, and I could not remember her real name. She told me that she wanted me to come and sit with her for dinner because her legs hurt and she couldn’t sit on the floor with the rest of the family. I secretly suspected that she didn’t want me to be alone and sad, but I didn’t say anything. I ate with Mama, and she taught me a few new Samoan words. I sat and talked with Ana and her cousins that evening and went home, imagining that I would be alone all the next day.

I feel like this picture captures the essence of Mama

But surprise. A different child appeared at my door. “Mama send me to bring you.” Once again, I tried to decline. I knew someone would be there to eat with the old woman, and she didn’t ACTUALLY need me. But the kid wouldn’t accept my refusal, and I went. And the same thing happened the next night and the night after that, and the night after that. I started enjoying eating with my neighbors every night, even if I didn’t always enjoy the food. They stopped sending children, and I started coming voluntarily. I started asking for help with Samoan, and my language has improved a lot since I get so much more practice. I started helping the children with their homework in the evenings, and we watch the news together. Sometimes we do lotu (when the family comes together, sits on the floor, says a prayer and sings a hymn). I started bringing back food any time I take a trip out of the village for the family. If I’m sick and don’t come for dinner, someone comes to my house to make sure I’m alright (side note: other Peace Corps volunteers and I use to debate how long it would take our villages to realize if we died in our houses. I’m now happy to say it would only take one day. Before, I use to say “until the corps started rotting”). I still call the old woman Mama, even though I learned her real name is Aivale. She introduces me as her fanau palagi (white daughter). Ana has become like a sister, and her children see me as the weird white aunty who doesn’t let them walk around the house butt naked anymore, but knows tons of fun games and songs. The rest of the family has accepted me and looks out for me. They keep a close eye on my house and wait with me when I have to take busses early in the morning because they want to protect me. Slowly but surely, I’ve been adopted by a new family.

Even though it is really difficult to be away from home when there is a death in the family, I was surprised at how my neighbors were there for me in such a big way, and how it has entirely changed my life here. I feel more integrated and protected, my language is improving, and I’ve just felt better overall about my time in my village. Ana, Mama and the rest of my new Samoan family are amazing and welcoming and warm, and I will always be grateful.

Uma le lotu- We just finished our evening prayers and hymn

Susan, Peta (me) and Ana

Ana photobombs the children (Laukaimi, Toto, Mercy and little Aivale)

This group has a lot of fun when the camera comes out!

New Project!!!!!!!

This is kind of a Peace Corps right of passage, and I'm very excited to work with other volunteers and different organizations within Samoa to make this happen. We can really change these girls' world views. If you would like to help, you can donate here: https://beta.peacecorps.gov/donate/project/glow-samoa-2015/

Anything helps, and shoot me an email or facebook message, and I would be happy to make sure my girls say thank you!

The Samoa PCVs in conjunction with our local partners have been hard at work planning this year's GLOW (Girls Leading our World). GLOW is a three-day conference that promotes girls' empowerment through sessions on career development, health and wellness, and ending domestic violence. A field trip to a culinary school for a cooking class, a speech by Miss Samoa on spirituality, and a martial arts skills self-defense class are all in the works.

Over half of our budget has been funded by community contribution, discounts from local businesses, and donations from NGOs, but we still have a ways to go. If you're interested, I'd love for you to learn more about GLOW through our facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/GLOWSamoa2015?fref=ts

Should you choose to support us, your donation will go towards food and lodging for our 32 participating 7th and 8th grade girls. This conference will be unlike anything they've ever experienced before. For some, it will be the first time they've slept on a mattress. Surrounded by powerful Samoan woman leaders, learning about career paths they've never considered, and making friends who are similarly driven, this conference will without a doubt be something the girls remember for the rest of their lives.

Read more about GLOW and donate here:https://beta.peacecorps.gov/donate/project/glow-samoa-2015/

Thanks for reading!

GLOW Samoa 2015

Non-Profit Organization

 Anything helps!

GLOW Samoa 2015

Non-Profit Organization

Intelligent and Sophisticated Person

I love reading, and when I was in college, I remember complaining that I never had enough free time to read books. Thanks to the Peace Corps, that problem has been rectified completely. I have so much free time now; I read every single day! I’ve even paired up with Ashlyn, another Peace Corps Volunteer, to turn reading into a competition (as all things are with this girl). Whoever reads the most books by our Close of Service (COS) will win. So far, we’re pretty neck-in-neck, and it could go either way. In the past nine months, I’ve read 39 books. Because reading has become such a pervasive part of my life here in Samoa, I thought it was only fitting to write a blog post about it.

The Peace Corps office has a whole hallway full of books, so I usually comb through the shelves every time I’m in town. After a few months though, it gets a little stagnant to go through the same books, but I have pretty useful strategies to find more books. Most resorts have a take-a-book, leave-a-book type shelf that they will usually let me use if I ask nicely. I also use an app called Overdrive to download ebooks from my library in Colorado onto my phone. I’m really lucky to be so connected and have access to the entire library! It uses a fair chunk of data, but it is definitely worth it to me!

When you read so often, it’s hard not to find quotes that resonate with you. So bear with me, while I share the most profound passages that have spoken to me the most.

1.     “I’d reached the point where if a character in one of the novels I was reading happened to be eating, I had to skip over the scene because it simply hurt too much to read about what I wanted and couldn’t have.”          -Cheryl Strayed, Wild

In this book, the author is going on a long hike and goes several weeks at a time eating mostly granola and jerky. This happens to me all the time as I read books. I miss GOOD food. I have dreams about chipotle burritos and margaritas. My friends torment me with pictures of Buffalo wings and cheesy sandwiches. I used to ask them to do this, but then I asked them to stop. It felt too much like food porn. When I read books (or watch movies) where people are eating food I wish I could have, I have to skip it. The most ironic part was when the author spent an entire page discussing her 3-course spaghetti dinner later in the chapter. I nearly wept with envy.

2.      There were many, many fine reasons not to go, but attempting to climb Everest is an intrinsically irrational act- a triumph of desire over sensibility.” – Jon Krakauer Into Thin Air

I know it is incredibly self righteous to compare what I’m doing to climbing the tallest mountain in the world, but just stay with me, ok? When you join the Peace Corps, you get asked a million times, in a million different ways, by a million different people, why you wanted to do it. And I don’t think I’ve ever given a satisfying answer. Bottom line is that it is a mind-boggling decision to most people, and they expect some form of profound wisdom when you answer this question. The answer, Um, Because I’m a teacher and I wanted to see the world and I can be a teacher anywhere, and to um, serve, and stuff, is not a satisfying answer. So from now on, I’m going to quote this line, verbatim, and hopefully, people find this answer more worthy.

3.      “Many [Peace Corps Volunteers] cannot be stopped from discussing what goes on in their GI tracts- the GI tract of a [PCV] over age twenty-three is true melodrama reminiscent of the Old Testament: sudden mass exodus long arduous journeys, flood, futility, agony, question God’s wisdom, and lactose intolerance.” –Sarah Silverman Bedwetter: Tales of Courage, Redemption and Pee

OK. I changed the word from “Jews” to “Peace Corps Volunteers” but this one is still pretty self explanatory.

So there it is. My most common way of spending free time has churned out this collection of brilliance. Rest assured, my Peace Corps service is making me an all around more intelligent and sophisticated person. 

Culture shock in the schools

Alright I don’t know if I actually want to post this, lest I seem like I’m complaining, but hey, my people love complaining. I also hesitate because that last part sounded a little offensive. I could delete it, but I’m trying to write an honest blog, right?

Anyway!

When you get ready to join the Peace Corps, people tell you all about how hard it’s going to be. You read about how hard it’s going to be. You day dream about how hard it’s going to be (just me?), and by the time you get on the plane, you think you know what the hardest parts are going to be. You think you’re mentally prepared for things like host families, illness, bucket laundry, homesickness, language learning, or any other Peace Corps horror stories you might have heard of. I was mentally prepared for all this stuff, and I think I’ve approached these struggles with as much grace as I could muster while my lavalava (wrap around/tie on skirt) is falling off, and I’m suddenly remembering I was SUPPOSED to wear shorts under this thing.

Being aware these challenges were coming made them easier to handle. Knowing I might get a crazy host family helped me love my normal host family so much more! Knowing that I was going to grunt and gesture like a child while trying to learn the language made it less embarrassing.

Here is what I wasn’t prepared for. Teaching is hard; school is REALLY, REALLY hard. I used to think: I’m a (future) teacher. I have experience in schools. I survived volunteering, practicum and student teaching in some of the toughest special education classes and was challenged every day.  I loved it. People who have never taught before do fine as Peace Corps teachers. Sure it’s not going to be easy, but what do I have to be worried about? Bring it on!

After talking with other volunteers, we realized that teaching here is hardest for people with experience and a passion for teaching. Everyone warns you about the culture shock you will experience as a PCV, but if you’ve spent any time in the classroom, we should warn you about the culture shock you will experience in the school. That’s why I made a list of things that gave me the biggest culture shock and brought me the hardest times in the schools.

•  Supervision of children- there is none. Physically, my classroom is isolated from the other teachers, so at lunch time, it’s just me and 40 year 1-3 students playing “how can we annoy Peta?” The winning tactics include: Sneaking in and destroying my posters, standing at the windows and doors while screaming my name, or (my favorite) sneaking behind the building to the window right next to my desk and peeing on my wall. Possible Solutions? ET (early termination of service- or quitting). Just kidding! Totally kidding! I’m currently cleaning up the library (located right next to the staff lounge), so I can relocate and the nearby teachers can help me by beating the children when they ignore and terrorize me (Kidding- kind of. Continue reading for further explanation).
• Beating of children- I think I’ve mentioned before that my school is actually pretty good about this. They don’t beat. However, kids kick the crap out of each other and that’s totally ok! One of my classroom rules is “hands to your selves” and it gets enforced only seventy five percent of the time. No teaching would get done if I corrected it every time. Instead, one kid slaps the other across the head and everyone else yells “hands for you!” Eh, they’re close enough. But depending on the school you go to, corporal punishment might be an issue. As teachers, we tend to value children, and have “mandatory reporter” engrained so deep in our brains that if we see a kid with a bruise, warning lights go off in our heads and flash out our ears. You HAVE to let that go. In the past, volunteers have ETed over it, because it’s hard to wrap your head around. My kids are covered in cuts and bruises and some of them are caused by parents. I have to let it go. The best I can do is ask people not to do it around me. Basically, you have to ask your inner moral fiber to step back and be reasonable. You’re not going to change the culture. In my class, I lead by example. I talk to children about it in hopes that they won’t do it when they have children. It’s hard to compartmentalize you’re sense of right and wrong, but you can’t let it ruin your teaching.
• No materials- Last week, I had LITERALLY no materials while I was subbing classes of 40 children. I brought in a book from home, and found some scrap chalk in a pile of old stuff and did a spelling bee activity using that. Most the time, you will have access to printer paper, some poster boards and large sheets of brown paper like the stuff you can get as bags at grocery stores. My school has a computer that does not work because of viruses and a printer with no ink. The copier is nearly out of ink too. And the power goes out a lot, so I can’t rely on technology like that every day. I like the way having limited supplies makes me stretch and grow as a teacher, but that being said, some days, I would rather tear my own eyeballs out than try to create something out of nothing again (too much?). Fine. Some days I’m tired and wish I had more books or a binder full of worksheets like an American School.
• Not being entirely sure what to teach- Peace Corps does give you training and you do some assessments to help you figure out where to start with your students. However, you get to site, and it’s kind of overwhelming. There is so much stuff I could be teaching, but what order should I teach it in? How much time will I need to spend on new skills? How do I know if my kids are ready for making predictions? They got letter sounds, what next? I got the impression from our training that term one is like a practice term (no one came out and said that, but considering the most useful training wasn’t until after term one, I’m convinced it’s true) so I figure the beginning is just time to experiment and get to know your kids. No pressure.
• When am I going to teach?- I hardly ever actually get to teach. The classroom is my happy place, and I hardly ever get to see it! When there are assessments, I don’t teach all week. When teachers are reviewing for assessments, I don’t teach all week. Sometimes, we have Peace Corps trainings or meetings we miss school for. This week is literacy week, and I’m helping teachers prepare instead of actually teaching. Some days, we sit in the staff room and have tea all day instead of teaching. I could try to be a good example and teach anyway, but instead it makes me look like a fiapoto “wannabe smart” and the other teachers resent it. My point is, this is a slow paced island, and schools fit into that image well. Get ready to slow down. A lot.

I really hope this didn’t come across as a list of complaints. I just really want any teachers preparing to be volunteers in Samoa to know what challenges they might face and how hard it can be. My biggest culture shock was in the school. But at the end of the day, I still love it. Children here are different but they’re still children. School is hard in ways I didn’t predict, but I love it for reasons I didn’t see coming. So be warned. Be prepared. Be ready to laugh and yell and throw your shoes at the wall (you know who you are) and say mean things in English that the kids won’t understand (guilty). But don’t worry too much. It’s what you came here to do. I figure that if I can teach here, I can teach anywhere.

My Samoan boyfriend

Peace Corps women in the past have built a reputation for dating and marrying Samoan men.  That's why every time I meet someone new, and especially every time I get in a cab in Apia, I get the same questions over and over again. Do you have a Samoan boyfriend? Why not? When will you get a Samoan boyfriend? Can I be your Samoan boyfriend? Ect...

So, I am happy to announce that I finally have an answer. My Samoan boyfriend's name is Tavita (David in English). He lives in my village, and he just loves the palagi (white) girls. And I just love that face! It's a match made in heaven.

I just don't mention the fact that he's 4 months old. His family, by the way, totally approves. They're very entertained by my little joke, and the taxi drivers back off a little bit. Everyone wins!

Laziness

Sorry I'm too lazy to write. Next best thing!

Love and miss you all!

rainbow cookies made of peace and sunshine

 Alright, alright, I realize I've been lazy with my blog. I used to obsessively read other volunteers' blogs when I decided to apply, and I vowed that when I was a volunteer, I would blog religiously... Oops. I forgot. Hopefully, that's a testimate to how well adjusted and in the moment I am, as opposed to being miserable and on my computer all the time. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it! So here's an update:
School:
Term one is almost over! I feel like I'm getting the hang of things, and I'm still generally pretty happy. I absolutely love teaching. I love when I'm sitting with a group of kiddos, and we only half understand each other, but by the end of a session, I know they got it! It's chaotic in the best way, and it makes me feel like a super hero. I'm going to start wearing my lavalava around my neck like a cape!
I miss American schools where I have convenient access to books, computers, teaching materials, and consistent electricity. I miss the general culture of schools inAmerica (to a point). Kids here are way more respectful, but that's because they would most likely get slapped if they're not (My school is actually pretty good about avoiding corporal punishment, luckily, but it's a country wide problem that many volunteers struggle to be around). Children love me, which means I'm constantly struggling to get some personal space and privacy. They're everywhere. But the second I'm in the class room, I'm able to gain control of the situation, and set boundaries. The classroom is where it all works out (most of the time). I love it.
Village life:
I love my village. I love it. I realise I'm saying that a lot, and I hope that I'm not losing credibility here. It's true.
 Church is a huge part of village life. There are 2 churches here (Mormon and Congregational). Some volunteers will try to go to all the churches in their village, and maybe this makes me a less super volunteer, but I don't go to the Mormon church. Mormons don't approve of alcohol, and I really don't drink often, but I don't want to have to lie when I do. Therefore, to aid my integration, I have thrown myself pretty deep into the Congregational church (called E.F.K.S.). I attend 2 Sunday services where I only understand 10percent of the sermon, I'm a Sunday School teacher (kind of) and I even go to Bingo with the church sometimes. My sister should be proud.
I am still learning Samoan, and I spend time with my neighbors to practice. Honestly, sometimes, I'm tired and don't want to socialise, but when I do, I know it's beneficial.
Other stuff:
Term 1 is ending and we get a week long break. I'm sad to miss Easter with my family because it's one of my favourite holidays, but I plan on going to a resort by my house and I hope to skype everyone there (I'm super lucky to live close to a resort with internet. You pay by the hour, and there aren't many places on the island where it's available).
After the break, Peace Corps brings us together for Early Service Training. It'll be nice to see everyone again, but I don't feel deprived of my friends company. We've been a pretty well connected group because there are so few of us (only 10). But I won't turn down a few nights of air conditioning, and socialising!
I tried to write a post that wasn't overly sentimental, and makes it sound like I spend my days baking rainbow cookies made of peace and sunshine or rescuing kittens from burning trees. I try to include the good and the bad. And I realise that the optimism is almost unrealistic. but screw it. I'm really happy. Some things make me unhappy, and some days I cope with those things better than others, but in the long run, I'm really happy. I love it.